Saturday, June 13, 2009

Mentoring Mommy

I have be come a Mommy Mentor. This is an incredibly scary thought on my part as I cannot fathom me, (the woman who is ok if her kid eats dirt (just a little), encourages her kids to fight (just a little) and can tune her kids out if necessary (a whole lot)) would be thought of by anyone as an appropriate mentor to anyone. The title is definitely an informal one but it is a role I have taken on none the less.

One of my friends who is only recently married and has recently moved over 1000 miles away from all friends and family other than me is pregnant with her first. Her and her husband are blissfully unaware of the riggers of parenting and are now looking at my husband and I for guidance. I am so excited for her, especially now that I get to go through everything all over again without the commitment of being the parent or pregnant one.

For the past few month I have been fielding pregnancy questions from her. You know, the basic "is this normal?" type of stuff. This past Thursday I got to have all sorts of fun helping her register. She asked me to come along because she didn't know what she needed or how to sort through all of the choices, "why are there so many different types of bottles?" "do I really need a diaper pail, can't I just use the regular garbage?"

Registering was great. I got to see all of the new stuff that was out. I know that my husband was hoping that it would give me the baby bug but I survived without catching that affliction. The other great thing about helping out this friend (other than the satisfaction of helping out someone who feels like she so needs it) is that it is causing me to remember things that I forgot long ago about my pregnancy and early days of parenting.

I am being cautious however. I want to make sure I don't over step my bounds and insert myself too much into the process. I try not to offer advice unless asked (or I see a desperate need for it). I would hate to have this ruin our friendship (it is a rather new one). I just see this as being great and for the moment she does too. I think all new mom's should be partnered with someone. Is there an organization that does that? I would join in a heart beat. I know in the past the pregnant woman's mom would do it but I see a need for it in today's society. Plus somethings are better heard from a friend than your mom.

What do you think, do we need a new mom's mentoring group? Is that what we are doing here on our blogs?


  1. I applaud you for this !!! When I had my second child I was far from home and really needed a mentour. I prayed for one and never found someone.

    I am sure this will come back to you in huge blessings !

  2. I think that's why I like so much, and reader other moms' blogs, like an online mama mentoring program. But there's certainly some benefits to IRL mentors, too. It's a great idea.

  3. All new moms need help. I almost think the best help possible is after the baby arrives. The lasagna dinner (or anything else!!!) prepared in a casserole and dropped off during the first two weeks of having the baby home is a life saver. Lucky gal to have a friend during this time.

  4. Hello,

    i'm a father since nearly 4 months. And it's really a completely life-changing event when a new baby arrives. First of all, you can't sleep anymore the whole night.

    Have to get up two times and almost everytime for 1 or 1 1/2 hours. So sleeping time was no more 8 hours but just 5 hours. Usually we woke up at lunch time and skipped breakfast.
    After some weeks we managed to sleep everytime when our baby boy took his rest.

    Yes, it's true there should be someone everytime around for the new mom (if daddy is working) or someone should just cook something for her.

    Everything else has to be learned by themselves otherwise you have to rely all the time on someone else!

    All about babies and kids

  5. I was the only person I knew who was pregnant or had a baby. I had no relationship with my Mom or Grandma and my Mother In Law was in jail.

    I joined What To Expect and the forum monitors have all had kids so that was really helpful.

    Although having an actual person bring dinner would have been nice. :)

  6. Hi -- stopping by and following from the MBC's under 100 group.

    I think this is one of the best thing about all the mom blogs out there. Being a new parent or being a new stay-at-home parent can be scary and isolating. It's so nice to have people to "talk" to and share experiences with!